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Chat Room Resources Guidelines Register Nickname Change Password Forgot Password? Chat Home Page Abuse / Incest Resources Forums Chat Room 1 Chat Room 2 Littles Chat Room  |
Guidelines
Welcome to the Abuse Chat room. This is a room for those who have suffered sexual abuse, domestic violence, or sexual assault. We also provide support for family members or friends of the survivor. Our mission here is to provide a room that is safe and supportive, yet also lends to self care and building life long friendships. As with any room that you enter on the web, there are rules you will be asked to abide by. This is not only for the purpose of keeping the room going, it is to provide a safe atmosphere for each survivor in the midst of their journey, at any stage they might be in. So please as you read the following rules, remember this is to provide you as well as others the safety and enjoyment we all deserve while being in our community. We offer two chat rooms, room one being open to the public, while room two will be hosting our scheduled chats and can be used for joint discussions on triggering topics. To gain access to room 2 please email the administer for the password, but under no circumstances will you be allowed to give that password to anyone else. If you are found doing so you will lose your rights to both rooms. 1. There will be no use of profanity, harassment of others, threats made to one another and no sexual language. With abuse being the topic of this room we are aware there will be times that in the midst of talking and gaining support, such talk will fall on the line of sexual language, but we are going to make chat times available in a separate room for such a discussion. No pornographic sites or images will be allowed in this chat room, nor will promoting such things been allowed either. 2. We will be using spoilers, but only in words that can severely trigger someone. So as of this time the words we need to have spoiled will be r*pe, m*lest, c*t, s*lf inj*ry, s*x. We are aware there are other words that have a triggering affect on people, but we also believe we need to learn self care and we can't shield ourselves from those words in the world, so what better place to learn to deal with words than in the midst of caring and supportive people. If we have missed a word that you feel needs to be strongly considered in making spoiled, please feel free to email the administrator and your suggestions will be addressed by the hosts and a decision will be made at that time. You will be heard and your suggestions will be considered. If a host ask you to spoile a word, please do so. 3. There will be no talk of Self injury or Cults in room one. Tho we understand many people struggle with this. This can be a VERY triggering topic for many people. Please take it to room 2 and let people know that is what you are talking about when they come in. 4. We do not ask A/S/L in this room. If knowing the age of others in the room would really aid you in finding support, then you may ask age only. With this also comes the responsibility of accepting when others are not willing to give that information and no pressure should be directed at them to answer you. If you want to know where someone is from, then that should be asked in a private chat room. A lot of our community members need to keep their location private for safety reasons. 5. Mistakes are not only common, but a part of the healing process. If you make a mistake in the room, please accept your responsibility in making it right. Admit you made one, ask for forgiveness and try to not do it again. If you need to talk to a host about this, please feel free to do so. Our hosts will be more than willing to help you. Just remember, mistakes do not mean your not a good person, it means your a human being who is trying to get better. 6. Absolutely no cyber sex will be tolerated in this room. This is not a place where you should be if your looking for a "date". If we have a complaint of this happening, the party involved will be watched very carefully and dealt with. Please if this happens to you, save the dialog and send it to the administrator. If you are unsure how to do this, do not close the window and contact a host or a member in the room who knows how to do this. 7. Do not discriminate against anyone because of a difference in religion, sexual orientation, culture, gender, moral values. When you wall yourself off from others who are different from you, not only do you make that other person feel rejected, you miss the chance at what could become a great learning experience and a life long friend. 8. If you find yourself in a conflict with another person, please consider using the private chat to talk about it with them. If you find that it wasn't productive, you may contact a host and if all parties involved agree, a scheduled meeting can be arrange to try some conflict resolution. Whatever you do, don't bring the conflict to the room, for open discussion. When this happens people tend to feel they have to pick sides, and that also means to go with one side, you alienate yourself from others. 9. Under no circumstances will you be allowed to use host after your nickname, unless you have been approved by the administrator. This is for the protection of the room. Each host that has volunteered to help you in the room has been checked out and proven their ability to serve and protect each member in the room. 10. Please do not private chat with anyone in the room till you have asked their permission. This teaches us how to set up boundaries and to ask for what we need. Also please make sure you know how to use the ignore function in the room. If you are not sure how this function works, make sure one of the first things you do is ask a host or other member to teach you. This will protect you from any triggering topics you wish to not be involved in. 11. We ask that you listen to others in the room as they speak, if you are unclear what they are trying to say or take offense to a comment, please, take a few seconds to calm down and ask for clarification of their comments. As survivors we know one of the hardest things are to use our voice and feel safe in what we are trying to say. Don't assume others are out to hurt you, please for your sake as well as others, take that time to make sure you fully understand what is trying to be said. Joking and laughing are more than welcome in our room, yet not at the expense of others. If you see someone is not dealing with your jokes or humor refrain from forcing the issue with them. Also if someone comes into the room while you are having fun, and they need help, turn your attention to their needs, or take the conversation you were involved in to a private chat. We are here to have the fun, but also be supportive of those who might have no other source of support. 12. A sure way of getting banned from this room is to intentionally scare or hurt other members. Also setting up a meeting (in person) with a minor who comes in the room is strictly forbidden. We will not tolerate this behavior for any reason. 13. If the hosts ask you to refrain from doing something that is against the rules, you will be warned once in the room. If you continue to do this action, you will be sent an extended version of the rules via email. If the action continues, you will then be banned from the room. If you refuse to accept the rules via email or refuse to talk to a host in private conversation regarding the problem, you will be banned from the room. We believe in giving chances, but only to those who are willing to correct behavior that cannot be accepted in a room like this. 14. Talk of religion is vital to many survivors in their recovery. As I am sure you are aware this is a topic that can cross the line quickly and become a hostile topic. With this subject, we will allow talk of how the abuse has affected your spirituality, but if this becomes to triggering for the majority of the room, a host will ask you to change the topic or take it to a private chat. If enough are wanting to discuss this further, the host might be able to arrange for those people to go to the other chat room, yet this will depend on scheduling conflicts. Also we ask you refrain from attacking another individual whose beliefs do not agree with yours, or because of a lack of beliefs. Also no promoting religion, or ministry of any kind will be tolerated. Keep your talk limited to the affects this has had on you and listen to others as they offer their story. |